Sunday, July 17, 2011

Messages and Signals

"PLEASE TURN"

I am told this when driving into the dark tunnel at Lane Cove. Part of my brain at the time is used to tell my foot to gently press on the brake pedal to slow down to the 80km/hr limit, the rest of the thinking organ is used to adjust to the sudden dimmed lighting. So this message from the flashing lightbox on the ceiling of the tunnel confuses me very much.

Yes, I will turn ... but where? I can neither turn left nor right as there is no upcoming crossroads inside the tunnel. I can only turn ... straight! (which I already know I am).

Fifty meters later, another message flashes: "HEADLIGHTS ON".

Errr .. Thanks for trying to help me saving energy ... but ... how do you know, my big brother, that I have my headlights on? Is this message directed at me and my car, or at the guy in front of me? Should I turn my headlights off now?

Whoever write these messages are absolute nutters. At the speed of 80km/hr drivers cannot read the entire demand "PLEASE TURN HEADLIGHTS ON". I wonder why we often do crazy things on the road!

Sunday, July 3, 2011

Pain in the neck

I have a wry neck for about 10 days now. The stupid connecting bit between my head and my torso simply refuses to turn in a certain direction. So I walk as if I am ducking a continuing stream of bullets firing at my right ear. When I drive I cannot change lane. So I drive like a P plater with half a demerit point remaining.

My wife tells me the neck spasm is due to bad deeds in my past. What did I do? I did return those overdue books to my school library. I always say sorry to other players when I win at poker. They never say it to me when I lose!

So what do I blame for my bad neck?

Call of Duty - Black Ops!

Yep. The mad computer game I play on my son's Wii.

When the battle gets overwhelmingly frantic I tend to twist my body into impossible postures to help guide my avatar ducking those fast coming bullets.

It is really weird. Although you know all your kicking and ducking don't do anything to the movement of your representative in the computer game, you still do it. So I contort my body and stay in the twisted posture until some enemy guy kills me.

My son laughs whenever he sees me playing: "Why do you kick your legs and twist your neck like that? Just be faster with the remote control!"

So kids, be careful playing these stupid addictive games. They are a pain in the neck! But for now please excuse me, I have to go and improve my tomahawk throwing skill...

PS - wife says I am too old to play the game. But it's rated MA (mature audiences - I am a mature adult, hopefully?). It's not SG (spouse guidance recommended), thank you!